MISSION

Monday, December 01, 2014

「 the lucky numbers of life #7

MISSION

kris x yon subin (oc)

fluff // comedy.

T ; oneshot ; slice of life au ; a piece of zitao inside ; I wanted it to be funny but eh

-kairay 2014.


Did he just throw up on me? He just throw up on me. God damn it, Tao, why am I friends with you?!

“Tao, I’m almost half an hour away from the city even if I leave right now, which I can’t do because I’m wearing my pajamas!”

“Come on, Subin, please? Hasoo called me to pick her up from the mechanic since her car broke down and I have to go take her home.”

“But I’m not even dressed to leave the house!” Subin whined halfheartedly, knowing she’d probably still end up having to take care Tao’s drunk friend.

“You know you owe me a favor after I worked that double for you when you went on vacation…” Tao crossed his fingers, hoping Subin would help him out as he wandered through the club, trying to find his inebriated so he could offer a description to Subin.

“Oh my god, fine, but give me 45 minutes to get there. And if I’m walking in to a club with no intention of actually clubbing, you owe me at least one drink at some point in the future.”

“I don’t think you get to decide what I owe you, since this favor is to pay off your own favor debt.”

“…Right. Now who is this drunken mess I have to deal with, and where can I find him?”
Tao heard her get up over the phone, presumably to get ready to leave, just as he located Kris at the bar.

“Okay, his name is Kris. He’s my roommate so you might recognize him, but I don’t think you’ve talked to him. He isn’t usually around when I throw parties because he spends a lot of his free time reading books in the dance studio. He’s wearing jeans and a distressed dark blue shirt. Jongdae, Luhan, and Minseok are here too, but their apartment is over an hour away as it is and I don’t want to leave Luhan in charge of three drunked idiots. His two are enough. Anyway, look for any of them if you don’t see Kris right away. I’m going to leave now and I told Luhan earlier that he is in charge of Kris until you get here.”

“All I have to do is make sure Kris gets home alive and isn’t dead when you return?” Subin clarified.

“Well, while survival is a good starting point for a goal, I do prefer relatively unscathed and not much worse for the wear. That’s a little better than just ‘not dead” Tao laughed, pointing at his phone and giving Luhan an ‘ok’ symbol as he made for the exit. “You know how to get to my place. Kris should have his key, but if he’s too out of it to give it to you just use the one under the potted plant.”

“Got it. Now go play the hero and save your girlfriend.” Subin laughed as she freed Tao to rescue Hasoo.

“Thanks a lot, Subin. Later.” Tao hung up the phone and Subin grabbed a towel to take a quick shower.


Thirty eight minutes later Subin was parking her car and making a quick jog to the front entrance of the club, flats slapping the concrete and keys jingling as she muttered curses.
She let the bouncer see her ID so she could get in, then began to scour the faces and bodies for any that she recognized.

Her eyes finally landed on brown hair above a face she recognized as Luhan’s. Happy to find at least one of the people she was looking for with minimum effort, she pushed through the crowd before she lost him.

“Last time I saw you your hair was bleached?” She laughed, standing beside him.

“That it was. It’s been a while, Subin. Last time Tao threw a party, right?”

“Yup.” Subin began to glance around a bit nervously, trying to find the man in her charge for the evening.

“Tao told me you’ve been entrusted with Kris’ drunken life tonight, eh?”

“Yeah, sadly. I owed him a favor.”

“So I heard. Anyway, the man of the moment is on the dance floor. Right there,” He pointed, “Next to girl in the green dress.” Luhan pointed to a man who looked to be having a lot of fun, dancing energetically in the flashing neon lights and bass-heavy music.

“Oh, I see him.” Subin’s eyes didn’t leave Kris, trying to gauge how difficult her task would be before even interacting with him. He looked nice, much like Tao, so hopefully he would be easy to deal with.

“You’re welcome. I’m grabbing my roommates and heading home now, it’s quite the drive and I’d like to actually sleep before dawn. Nice to see you again, Subin, and good luck.” Luhan pushed off from the wall he’d been leaning against and nodded a farewell to her.

“Will I really need a good luck?” Subin’s eyes flew to analyze his expression, concerned.

“Hopefully not. He’s just a bit of a stubborn drunk.” Luhan said with a shrug and slight grin as he set course toward Jongdae and Minseok, who were talking to some other club goers.


“But I don’t want to leave—” Kris whined as Subin tried to coax him away from the other drunken dancers. He only stared at Subin suspiciously. All she’d done so far was introduce herself, mention something about Tao that Kris didn’t find important since Tao had left, and offer him a ride home.

“I brought my car, I’m sober, you’re drunk, and you need to go home.” She offered a logical explanation, but he didn’t seem convinced.

Kris began to stray away from the dance floor, but Subin’s rising hopes for cooperation were crushed when he stopped at the bar instead of proceeding toward the exit, slapping down a couple of bills and signaling the bartender. Kris sat down and Subin sat next to him, setting her elbows on the bar top to rest her chin on her hands.

Her frown deepened when the bartender placed a drink in front of each of them.

“Thank you,” Kris said with a gaze of smile in a surprising show of feigned sobriety. He slowly tuned his gaze toward the girl next to him, paying no attention at her unamused expression.

“You’re going to drink that, right? I bought it for you, you know.” Kris smiled at Subin as well, picking his drink up off the table.

“That’s an admirable gesture, really, but I’d rather take you home and eventually go home myself.”

“’Give me a ride’? ‘Take me home’?” An unreadable expression crossed his face as he sipped his drink before it morphed into suspicion. “Are you a hooker?” He narrowed his eyes.

“No!” Subin declared loudly, then lowered her voice again. She was bothered less by the obviously drunken suggestion than by the stares she received from bystanders. They turned away at her denial and she continued, “I told you, I know Tao and I’m supposed to take you home. He asked me to make sure you don’t injure or kill yourself. Or anyone else, but you don’t seem  at all menacing, so I doubt I’ll have to intervene in any fights you’ll start.”

“Tao sent you…” Kris statet and Subin nodded, glad that he was catching on. “That’s nice of him, and all, but I can get girls myself.” Kris said in a quiet voice.

“I’m sure you can, and yes, I’m a girl. However, I’m not here as a girl, or a hooker. I’m here as a friend.” She said slowly, trying to calm herself down. However this is a drunken she’s dealing with.

“A friend is good, because you don’t seem to keep up the hooker image. Or even the clubbing one. your clothes are too casual and you aren’t drinking.”

“Sorry I’m trying to stay sober for the drive home and have a lot of laundry to do,” Subin drawled sarcastically.

Kris finished his drink, then picked up the one he’d bought for Subin. “If you aren’t going to drink this, I can’t let it go to waste.”

“Don’t—” She reached swiftly to seize the drink, but he threw it back before she could get a hold on it. “—drink anymore.” She murmured to herself.

I doubt letting him drink more was what Tao meant by ‘not much worse for the wear’.


Another hour later Kris had danced, tried to get Subin to dance with him, attempted dirty dancing with Subin when she finally got off her barstool and surrendered one dance with him, then whined when she went back to sit down.

“You aren’t much fun,” Kris proclaimed as if it were an important revelation. “Are you usually more fun than this?” He prodded, teasing her with a lopsided grin.

“I’d like to think so. Are you done yet?” Subin asked. She had to admit, Kris was a fun drunk and probably fun in general, but she still didn’t want to be in a club with him or anyone else if she wasn’t here to have fun as well.

“One more drink?”

“No.”

“One more song?”

“No.”

Kris made an attempt by staring at her fore she relented. “Fine. One more song. But I’m not leaving this barstool again until you are headed for the exit. Which will be after one more song.”

“Deal.”

One more song turned into three, and during that time Kris had slipped away from her supervision for one more drink before Subin dragged him away from the bar, breaking her previous agreement that she wouldn’t get up until they were on their way out. Using her momentum, she dragged him to the hallway near the exit.

“Can we please go now?” She asked, looking up at him with frustration.

Kris shrugged as if he hadn’t been putting up resistance the entire time. “I guess. All of my friends left and you’re no fun.” He pouted.

“They left over an hour and a half ago, that didn’t seem to bother you before, and I’m not here for fun. Come on.” She took his hand again so she didn’t lose him and led him out the door.

Parking in the first available spot she saw had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she was regretting the distance she’d put between the club and her car.

Kris stopped to stare at a bug on the sidewalk and Subin stared at him, exasperated but also entertained by his minuscule attention span when impaired.

“It’s an ant.” Kris observed.

“Is it now?” Subin asked, uninterested. She glanced at her phone, wondering how late it would be when she finally got home.

“Yeah.” Kris leaned closer to the ant before it disappeared into a crack in the cement.

“The ant is gone.” Kris frowned.

“How depressing,” Subin said. Uninterested. At all.

He appeared to mourn the loss of the latest fleeting source of entertainment for a moment, then slowly sank to the ground.

“Maybe we should take a nap. I’m tired and I don’t feel very well.” Kris said.
Subin could not even pretend to be surprised at this new development after watching him for a good portion of the night.

“Kris, you can nap – get this, even sleep – at home. Also, you’ve consumed an impressive amount of alcohol just in the time since I arrived, so I have to expect you to feel like shit.”

“I’m going to rest here for a little bit,” Kris said, transitioning from a kneeling position to actually sitting down on the sidewalk. Subin stood idly, mouth widely agape, as he proceeded to actually lay down. She considered pretending she didn’t know him and just stand nearby until he decided to move on his own. Reluctantly, the responsible part of her convinced her to lay down the law.

“Kris, let’s go.” She commanded sharply, like one would command a toddler before beginning to count down from five. She thought she’d try being demanding. Maybe he responded better to commands than suggestions.

“Carry me?” Kris asked, looking up at her. She sputtered.

“How in the actual fuck do you expect me to CARRY YOU?!” Subin gestured wildly for him to get off the ground. “Get up!”

Kris stood up, wavering in obvious dizziness before he reached out for something to grab. While Subin knew she lacked the strength required to carry him, she didn’t hesitate to try to catch him. She grabbed his hand and guided it toward her shoulder, then held out her other arm as a precaution in case he leaned toward her.

She waited to see if he’d pass out, but he didn’t. instead, she heard him making a strange noise. She looked up at him and jumped back from him just as he threw up. Some of it hit her leg, but most splattered on the concrete.

Subin stared indignantly.

“Did he just throw up on me? He just threw up on me. God damn it, Tao, why am I friends with you?!” Subin was talking out loud, but mostly to herself. Kris was too busy staring at the ground to respond.

On the bright side, Kris was considerably more cooperative after throwing up. Subin assumed it was because he realized he was not in proper shape to be in public – after being thrown up on, neither was she. They endured the rest of the walk to Subin’s car, which took several times longer than it should have, in silence. Then Subin used paper towels from her trunk to try to clean herself –and Kris– up. He had managed to avoid being part of the damage, with the exclusion of one of his shirt sleeve. She didn’t know how he’d gotten his puke on just his shirt sleeve, but tried to wipe it off anyway.

She buckled him into the passenger seat, offered him a half a bottle of water she found in the back seat, then ran to the nearest garbage can on the street to throw away the used paper towels. She turned back to make sure Kris hadn’t moved from his seat every two seconds during her journey, and when she returned she quickly drove to Tao’s place.

Getting Kris to the floor of their apartment was on wasn’t as difficult as she expected. He leaned on her at times but was still holding his own weight a good portion of the walk. Luckily, the elevator was timely and there was a conveniently located parking spot outside the door available.

When they reached Tao and Kris’ door, Kris leaning more considerable weight on Subin with his arm around her shoulder, he said, “Why don’t you come in?”

“I’m going to, give me the key.”

“It’s probably in my pocket.” He started to move his free arm to reach into his front jeans pocket, but through better of it. “You could do it, you know,” Kris tried giving Subin what she assumed was an attempt at a smoldering gaze, but looked more like exactly what it was: a crooked drunken smile, the telltale sign that he was drunk off his ass.

Subin didn’t even check for disappointment on Kris’ face when she turned her attention toward the potted plant to get the key.


After a prolonged struggle, Kris eventually crashed on his bed. Subin felt a bit bad that he was still wearing his jeans and shoes, but she’d gotten him to change out of the shirt he’d thrown up on and she rejoiced in the small victory. She had even gotten him to change himself, despite his requests for her to change his shirt for him.

She stood in the doorway of his room, not quite sure what to do now that Kris was drifting off to sleep. She picked his discarded shirt off the floor of his room with two fingers and hurriedly escorted it to the bathroom, where she discarded it over the side of the bathtub. She had considered helping him out by getting the stain out while it was fresh, but remembered the stain on her own leggings and thought better of it. He could do his own laundry.

Seeing the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, she felt the pressure to be a good person. She took an aspiring and filled a glass of water next to the sink, carried them back to Kris’ room, and tried to set the glass down silently, even though and explosion probably wouldn’t have woken the sleeping man.

Nodding at her extraordinary accomplishments, she tiptoed toward the living room.

I’ve been watching the dude this long, I might as well stay until Tao comes back. He should probably here soon. She thought. Subin scrolled through her phone instead of turning on the TV, both because she didn’t want to make any noise and because she knew there wouldn’t be anything worth watching on TV at such an hour.

Some twenty minutes later, Tao stepped through the front door with Hasoo by his side. Hasoo waved at Subin when she turned on the lamp in the room, before Tao told her to go to wait for him in his room. Hasoo shot Subin a sympathetic smile as she walked past, and Subin further realized that she’d accepted the task of Kris’ care without apparently common knowledge that he’s difficult to deal with when intoxicated.

“So, how was he?” Tao asked carefully when he spotted Subin’s expression.

She didn’t even respond, just widened her eyes and dramatically pointed at the dried spots on her leggings.

Tao made a face. “He didn’t.”

“He did.”

“I’m so sorry, and he is too. He’ll be mortified when I tell him about this – I’m sure he won’t remember.” Tao frowned, setting his keys on the table.

“No, it gets better! He also tried to get me to remove his keys from his pockets and take off his shirt!

Tao couldn’t help but laugh.

“The worst was actually when he asked be loudly, at the bar, if I was a hooker!” Now even Subin was laughing.

“I’m so sorry.”

Subin just scoffed before she continued to give Tao the rundown of events. Tao apologized every few statements, face twisting in secondhand embarrassment and laughter as Subin recounted the tale of her journey home with Kris.

“I probably do owe you at least one drink, Subin. He’s usually not that bad, I promise.”

Subin laughed and shook her head as Tao showed her out of the apartment, exchanging goodbyes and receiving final round of apologies from Tao on Kris’ behalf.


Light streamed through the open curtains as Kris groaned in pain, his brutal hangover settling in.

“Please close the curtains, I’m sleeping forever. Join me if you’d like.” He rolled over to face away from the window, reaching behind him to pat the vacant space invitingly.

“I’ll pass ge,” was the response. Kris didn’t expect his roommate’s voice to answer, although he didn’t remember whose voice he did expect. He turned around as fast as his reaction time and current condition allowed, but his head still spun as he stared at his roommate. Meanwhile, Tao continued speaking. “It’s a good thing you don’t have to do anything today. You look like hell.”

Kris narrowed his eyes, than glanced around the room tiredly.

“But why are you here? I could have sworn I went home with a last night… But I guess I brought her here instead. She’s gorgeous, though. Is she here? Did you see her? Did she leave?” he craned his neck as if to try to see the rest of the flat. His room was around the corner of the hallway.

Tao stared, dumbfounded but entertained by his senior’s lack of memory.

“Maybe I embarrassed myself. At least I have all my clothes on so I couldn’t have done anything too stu— Why are you laughing at me?! You dare to?  I don’t remember what happened but you’d be concerned too if you were single and brought home a girl… damn, what was her name?” Kris began to try to sound out what he remembered of the girl’s name. “It started with… a…”

“Subin.” Tao said, and Kris’ eyes lit up at Tao’s words.

“That’s it! Subin! Tao, how did you know?!”

“She’s a co-worker of mine and she owned me a favor. So I had her to take your drunk ass home last night.” Kris nodded, slightly disappointed that his own suave ways and charm hadn’t brought Subin to his room instead. Ultimately, he’d take what he could get. At least she talked to me? He thought. Yeah, that’s good. Optimism is good.

“Did I leave a good impression?” He asked hopefully. He was already sure he didn’t want to know the answer, but he had to know.

Kris noticed the two pills and glass of water sitting conveniently on the nightstand and took them, using the action to avoid looking expectantly at Tao while waiting for an answer.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but gege threw up on her.”

“Oh, so that’s probably a no.” Kris’ cheeks burned as he tried to discover a way to salvage his chances with the girl who’d probably stopped him from dying of drunken irresponsibly or, more probably, doing something so stupid it would have gone viral.

Gege also asked her if she was a hooker in the middle of the bar, tried to get her to put her hand in your pocket, and attempted to get her to strip you.”

“Dear god!” Kris cried, running his hand through his hair, “Why didn’t anyone stop me?! No one should ever speak to me again, much less her!”

“Probably a bad time to mention your attempts to grind on her, you laying in the middle of the sidewalk to ‘take a nap’ and—”  Kris swung his feet over the edge of the bed and Tao’s eyes widened. “—the fact that you’re wearing jeans and your shoes right now…”
Kris stared at his shoes, shaking his head and groaning loudly.

“I’m never drinking again,” Kris surrendered, dropping back onto the bed and burying his face in his pillow.

“Good choice, ge,” Tao said, starting toward the door. “When you decide to crawl from the depths of your drunken embarrassment and hungover pity party, I’ll be making brunch.”

“Good. You somehow know how to look at the bright side at someone else’s problem.”

“Pancakes are probably the closest to positivity you’ll be able to get after the display you put on for Subin last night.” Tao shut the door behind him, leaving Kris to decide if he wanted to go back to sleep despite the fact it was almost eleven o’clock.

Kris whimpered as he kicked off his shoes, determined to take a shower after he found some clean clothes. He got up and started rummaging through the drawers of his dresser, muttering about how stupid he’d been the previous night.

“I can ask for permission to give you her number, but even the slim chance you have would definitely be contingent on you never doing anything like that again…”  Tao called from the other side of the door.

“Kris’ ear perked at the statement, but he kept realistic expectations. He made sure to keep the hope out of his voice when he answered. “Would you? And maybe, put in a good word for me?” Kris winced. “And apologize. Like, a million times.” He added.

“Sure.” Tao said from the hallway. “I’ll tell her gege have high standards and if you make a complete drunken fool of yourself in front of and throw up on a girl, it’s only because she’s really pretty. It’s a basically a compliment.”

“What the fuck, Huang Zitao!”



Endingthe lucky numbers of lifewith another broken-comedy ;;; RIGHTTTTTT you guys requested it a while ago and I decided to use it to finish the series. And I feel like because I started the series with comedy and I need to end it with comedy too? kinda. So yea.



-kairay.

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1 Comments

  1. KENAPA KALO KAYAK GINI KRIS CUTE BGT DIBAYANGAN YA :(

    ReplyDelete

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